OMFG, SO glad someone is articulating this argument!

After spending an enchanted evening among a selection of superstarz from CEU’s Gender Studies department, I was feeling a bit invigorated about queer activism.  And what a nice surprise to wake up after a night of charming conversation, full of laughs and iconoclasm, and find that someone has written a screed that beautifully encapsulates the spirit of the previous evening.

Honestly, LGBTQ rhetoric has been tiring me lately. The whole preoccupation with marriage in the ‘mainstream’ of LGBTQ organizations leaves me cold. To state the obvious, even STRAIGHT people are getting sick of the institution of marriage! Check out the alarmist rhetoric from “…the population of unmarried women will soon surpass the number of married women.  This indicates a rejection of the Divine Institution of Marriage by the population.” It certainly does. Not only that: “Children living with only one parent has increased from 9% in 1960 to 30% (29.52%) in 2005.  Of those 83% of the children live with the mother.  This is creating a society of bastards. (Note to self: Society of Bastards….band name? Dot org?) In my Northwest corner of the homeland, the phenomenon is particularly pronounced. Statistically, it’s unavoidable: people don’t really feel like gettin’ hitched lately.

Because it’s a bad deal. Archaic, oppressive, etc., etc. I understand the real necessity to advocate for equal civil rights. YES: we should have equality under the law. But there’s more than one way to achieve equality. You can increase the rights of the underclassed. OR, you can decrease the right of the overclass. I would be much more excited about a movement to ABOLISH marriage – not the ritual, not the contractual gravity, not the churchy bits. But let’s abolish the special civil privileges (tax breaks, etc.) that are conferred upon the married. Why should insurance benefits, for example, depend on any particular domestic arrangement? If you, as an employee, have the benefit of extending your insurance to cover one other person, it should be YOUR choice who that person is. Your spouse, sure, or your mom, your kid brother, your uninsured best friend, your cosplay companion, whatevs.

So, note to my beloved gays: YOU ARE FABULOUS. Don’t sell yourselves out! Do you REALLY want monogamy and diapers and picket fences? Is that what all the fierce Stonewall queens were kicking pig-ass for? I think not. Fuck tolerance; fuck assimilation. You are an aesthetic and sexual ELITE. YOU made bath-houses, and park sex, and playparties, YOU took your liberty without permission, YOU made a new world within the shell of the old tired mainstream one. That’s something to be celebrated and revered. That’s power. Power is NOT trading your sexual revolution for middle-class security.

Anyway. Read the blogpost linked above – it’s concise and excellent. And it makes me want to join hands on the front lines in a way that no equal marriage amendment ever could.

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